The Four Agreements
Ground rules for meetings or events can get laissez-faire at times. Some common ground rules such as "one conversation at a time" or "laptops closed" may only scratch the surface. Let's spice this list up with some creativity, shall we?!
One of my favorite approaches is to introduce 4 key principles from the book "The Four Agreements" authored by Don Miguel Ruiz. Two of my past clients have used the "The Four Agreements" as a tool to improve team engagement and effectiveness. They are simple, practical and easy to implement. However, I do recommend that you read the book (see book cover below) prior to applying these principles in practice.
Ok, let's get started. Prior to your first meeting, print out the author's definition of each of the "Four Agreements". For each agreement, brainstorm with your team how to apply the principles for each agreement. Below is a brief guide for each of the "Four Agreements". Once assigned, post both the title of each agreement along with the chosen ground rules prior to the start of each meeting. Easy enough, right? Don't settle on the first pass. Iterate these ground rules until you and your team have a winning formula.
1st Agreement
"Be Impeccable With Your Word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love."
Approach: Have you ever heard someone say that "he's only saying what other people are thinking"? Don't get me wrong, being direct or saying what you mean is not always received well. But if you're sincere, it could dramatically improve team chemistry, effectiveness and performance. Try it on for size. The truth never hurts and it shortens meetings.
2nd Agreement
"Don’t Take Anything Personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering."
Approach: It's rare someone in the journey of a project won't take something personal if the area of focus is in their back yard. If your role or area of work is a pain point in the organization, then it was designed that way. The good news is you're a subject matter expert at how the process is working today and your contribution to solving the pain will be critical. Take on the role of subject matter expert in your journey. Remember that you were selected to the team to contribute to its success.
3rd Agreement
"Don’t Make Assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement you can completely transform your life."
Approach: This agreement is one of my favorites and it's huge. Have you ever heard someone say "probably", "I'm pretty sure", "Suzi said ....", etc. This reminds me of one of my favorite movies, "The Blues Brothers" when Dan Aykroyd exhorts to a woman, "Just the facts, Ma'am". Remember unless it a "fact" it's just an opinion or an assumption. If an assumption cannot be clarified in your meeting or discussion, add it to the "virtual parking lot" for later clarification. However, the best approach is to be armed with facts and data prior to each meeting.
4th Agreement
"Always Do Your Best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret."
Approach: This goes without saying. At the end of your meeting or team event, always reflect what went well and what could have gone better. Brainstorm what you can change and improve for the next meeting. Try this approach and you will suddenly see a boost in team performance and engagement.
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